THE POTUS: That’s very amusing, Mitt. It’s good to have a sense of humor. Maybe you should show it more often—no, don’t do that, it might help you in the polls. Anyway, I hear what you say. Next time I call you a cold-hearted vulture capitalist who has the blood of tens of thousands of patriotic, God-fearing American workers on his hands, please don’t take that personally, either. And don’t believe that stuff in this week’s New York magazine about my campaign trying to depict you as a right-wing dinosaur from the nineteen-fifties who’s going to ban abortion, birth control, and reality TV. That’s just Axe and the boys getting a little overexcited.

The New Yorker: “This Is the President Calling for Governor Romney”